Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Helpful Hubby


When we learned that we were going to have a baby, Big Guy and I were Cautiously THRILLED. We knew that a lot of pregnancies didn't progress to the 12 week point, so we kept a low profile and tried not to get too excited until we hit that point. For the first three months, I felt really tired and some days felt pretty awful- throughout the whole first trimester, I kept waiting for him to clean the apartment- to do the dishes, to take out the trash, do a load of laundry....ANYTHING!!!! And he never did! I had to resort to asking him to clean...and still nothing. We bought him an Expectant Father book- where they kept stressing how important it was to do more than your share around the house in those early days because your partner feels lousy--still....NADA... I cried, I hinted, I yelled, I alluded...NOTHING! Finally came 12 weeks and a major MELTDOWN. My receptionist at work told me I had a delivery- and I went up to get it and saw that it was a beautiful pink and green arrangement in the square vase that was wrapped in a pink satin ribbon and tied with a bright green ribbon. I was so happy because I thought, even if he didn't clean, he made the effort to send me flowers on the day that was so long in coming....and the first day I felt free to be excited! I looked at the card....It was from my parents...Big guy didn't even get me a card. He didn't clean the apartment. He didn't even say anything! Don't get me wrong- Big Guy is very excited to be a father and talks to my belly and reads his father book and is generally a very supportive man- but there was NO EXTRA EFFORT WHATSOEVER! Hence the major meltdown! It wasn't pretty- but I think it scared him straight. It happened Thursday night, and he took Friday afternoon off and cleaned the apartment. Since then- he has made our bed every day, and he even helped me make bachelorette invitations last night. He printed the text, cut them to size and even stamped the polka dots so that they all matched perfectly! He has done a total 180. It is so nice and I am reminded that he may be stubborn and a slow starter- but he is a wonderful husband and I love him very much.

10 comments:

CoutureCarrie said...

That's awesome.
Love the baby buggy pic!

MMM said...

Oh honey. They just don't get it do they? I went through the EXACT same thing! I think A has now done 3 load of laundry and 1 load of dishes. I told him I was hiring a maid!

Lauren said...

I am glad your husband is helping around the house now. My husband doesn't take hints either. Me, I pick up on everything.

I hope you enjoy your week!

Monogramchick said...

Glad to hear that he has stepped up to the plate, I know that makes your life much less stressful!

The Mrs. said...

Just wait until you have the baby and you try to make him move out!! LOL! It's so hard being preggy and after baby with hubby! they are CLUELESS!

Europafox said...

Men are just slow on the uptake!! Your husband sounds sweet helping you with the invites though! Glad you are feeling a bit better - when you get to 5-7 months you will feel and look FABULOUS! I swear I looked about 5 years younger - I miss it! I agree with you re Burberry btw - the check etc got hijacked over here by the chav contingent, but Burberry seem to be reclaiming some ground!

suburban prep said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Always Organizing said...

I'm glad he has kicked it into high gear! Sometimes the guys just don't get how much stuff needs to be done around a home and need a swift kick to get it going :)

Jenna said...

You're having a child together, and you can't communicate to your husband that you'd like him to do more work around the house? Dropping hints by buying him a book is not sufficient- you need to speak your mind and be heard, because when your child arrives, there won't be time for melt-downs. I'm not trying to be cruel, I just hate hearing that strong women like yourself won't say what they want.

Midwest Prep said...

Jenna- Thanks for the comment, but I am not sure you understood the situation. I asked, I suggested, I casually dropped hints, I directly told him--and still nothing. There is no way to make a stubborn man clean and I am not sure if you are married or have kids but If that is still on the horizon for you I think you will find that soon enough. Big Guy and I don't always agree but I know that communication was NOT the problem. He knew I wanted him to clean, but he was just to lazy and unmotivated to do it. I think that it took my meltdown to make him see that him being lazy was really taking a toll on me-which if you have had the experience of being pregnant you would know that it doesn't matter if there is time for one or not- you don't have control of your emotions in those early months- it is going to happen more than once--
Anyway- he was really great for the past month, and now old habits are coming back- I do agree with your point that I should be direct form the start and let him know that we don't have time for me to ask him 30 times- so on that point I agree with you!