Today was the first day back to work. I made it out of the house in one piece. I picked out an outfit last night to avoid any baby weight melt-downs and even showered and blew out my hair to make sure it looked cute. If I was going to be miserable, I might as well look good. I got up and fed and changed H- but not without incident. I had just removed his diaper and was reaching for a new one when he smiled and brought his knees to his chest and explosive pooed on my arm. I let out a surprised yelp and then started laughing. It was really gross, but he is so cute that you can't get mad at him--even when he poops on your arm! Once I got everything cleaned up and put him back together-diaper, onesie, sleeper- I handed him off to my mom while I got dressed. After I got dressed I decided to feed him a little more since he passed out earlier while he was eating. I just sat there and stared at him in disbelief. i couldn't believe it had been three whole months since I had him- he has changed so much and grown so fast and it had all seemed to fly by. I hugged and kissed him and left him with my mom for the day and made it all the way to the garage before the water works started. It wasn't too bad. Part of me knows he is safe with my mom and that is a HUGE comfort. All the sadness is about missing him, and knowing that I will miss him every day. I think this is a cruel situation for a mother to have to be in, but I know many have done it before and I know I just have to grin and bear it.
I hope you all had good days today- I can't wait to get home and kiss my baby.
9 comments:
You are so strong for this!! I don't have any kids yet but I can only imagine what this day will be like - it's so amazing that you have your Mom for this. Mine is in wheelchair forever and I had always thought she would be the one watching my children - sad how things like that change. Good luck getting through the first couple days - good thing the weekend is close!! ((HUGS!!!))
I'm sure you looked amazing today! Thanks for the update. I was thinking about you today.
Enjoy your evening!
You made it! Day one is probably the hardest... also, knowing he is with your mom? That has to be the most comforting thing ever. Good job making it through your day. Love the poop story. :-)
Sorry that you had to leave your sweet baby today! I hope it gets a little easier each day.
And isn't it funny how you can get pooped and pee'd on and not get upset about it one bit! You are so right about that! If someone had told me this years ago, I wouldn't have understood, ha! But being a Mommy changes everything!
Hope you are getting lots of kisses and snuggle time!
So, I have to go back to work in 2 weeks and I am dreading it. Reading your post made me tear up. Hope your day went well.. or at least as good as it could be. :)
I am so sorry you are feeling down. You are SO lucky your mother can fill in for you. What a HUGE blessing H does not have to go to childcare!
I remember that--sobbing the first day back to work--and this was after leaving him with my husband!!! Plus I remember all the "milking" and...oh gosh.
But it will be all right! Good luck to you and congrats on making it through your first day!
YOu are so brave. I know it's hard. You are so lucky to have your mom though!!!! My nanny dramas are insane. I write from home but of course am getting NOTHING done!
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