I have had my yahoo email account since college and there are some pretty old emails in there. I went to see what the earliest one was and this was it- it made me laugh to see how far I have come in the last 7 or 8 years. I thought I would share it with you--I called it my crazy girl column- I must have had a little email newsletter that I sent out- looks like I was a blogger before their were blogs!!!
Crazy Girl Column
Is anyone out there worried? Well I am. Here I am a junior, about to be a senior and I have got nothing. I don't have any real career prospects; no money, no idea of what lies ahead and most alarmingly, I don't even have a boyfriend! Isn't college the time when you are supposed to meet "The One"?
You know the soul mate that you know better than anyone does and can't wait to spend the rest of your life with? Well, my time is running out and to tell you the truth, I am not ready for any of that! I can't even manage to find someone that I want to spend a week with let alone the rest of my life! It becomes painfully evident that my situation isn't the norm as I see my closest friends pairing off and talking in stupid cuddly voices about the future and marriage and babies and all that stuff. I feel like I am missing something, like everyone is following this unwritten plan and I am sitting here wondering what it is I am supposed to do!
I do realize that there is a female stereotype; one that says that women just want to rope in the perfect man and have lots of babies and change the guy into some sort of dutiful husband type, but in a lot of cases that isn't true. Some girls just want a guy to watch movies with on Sunday nights, drink a few beers on the weekends, and tell us we are cute once in a while. Honestly, is that too much to ask? We're not asking for perfection, just a nice-looking guy that can make us laugh.
Maybe it is all of those crappy teenybopper movies that I watch. Honestly, I can't get enough of those loose Shakespearean adaptations. It seems like they make the whole situation worse. The kids in these movies are in high school and they're already finding perfect relationships and living out these dramatic adult scenarios between home-ec. and gym class. I am one year away from scholastic independence and I am miles away from any relationship that could be classified as adult.
Maybe I should go to law school or something. I test well, and who knows, maybe I could rip up the LSAT. Then I would have a few more years to find "The One". As it is, there is too much pressure. I seem to be drawing from the wrong places. I swear that I am the dream girl for the under 18, over 40 club. If there is a scary old drunken man with-in a quarter mile, it is almost a guarantee that he'll hit on me. Its like I am wearing a sign that says, "hey if you are older than my dad, please hit on me!" I must be doing something wrong.
Most of the single women I know just want to meet someone. It doesn't even have to be the right one. I am not interested in rushing things. I am having a good time--I just wish that there was some way to alleviate the pressure. Each day without a date seems like another day in the "you're gonna spend your life alone club." I want to curl up and hide myself from the judgmental eyes of those stupid girls that talk about their boyfriends all the time. The ones who ask you if you are dating anyone, and tell you it's okay that you aren't. Damn right it's okay! I know it's okay! Just because my parents were dating by this time in their lives and some of my friends parents were already married with a kid is no reason to become alarmed! Just because I am now the 2nd oldest unmarried person in my family doesn't mean I am worried about it.-(sarcasm) With all my whining you might think that I am dying for a serious relationship so that I can grip onto some poor unsuspecting guy and never let him go. I assure you, this is not the case. I think that it's the same with a lot of girls my age. Most of us are just waiting; waiting for something to happen, because this quasi-life we call college can't last forever. And because deep down we are ready for something new.