Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Things I am thinking about today

I am still 3 sizes bigger than I should be. I am still in my enormous pants. I am starting to hate these pants.

After my daycare, train pass, bus pass, parking pass, etc, I really only have like $800 left from my paycheck. This working thing is just not working....

I keep seeing all these cute new clothes coming out from J. Crew but I have neither funds nor figure for it all.

My sweet baby H was sleeping when I left this morning so I didn't get to kiss him goodbye. I should have done so when I was feeding him at 5am, but I was too delirious to think of it.

My house is a disaster area...I have no time/energy to clean it and my husband isn't much of a self-starter when it comes to cleaning. The Laundry is piling up- both clean and dirty, I am pretty sure there are bras in my couch and I keep finding ants in my dishwasher!-yuck.

My garden hates me. I planted herbs-rosemary, thyme, cilantro, basil, marjoram, arugula, Boston lettuce, eggplant, tomato and spring onion and none of it seems to be doing anything at all. I had visions of fresh organic produce all summer long--caprese salads plucked from my porch--free and fresh vegetables piled on my counter tops. I am not sure how long I should wait before I start over- I see some green, but not much.

I am such a downer.....being away from H has sucked the life out of me. I gotta snap out of this.

12 comments:

Mrs.Preppy said...

Too bad we are not closer... we could have a glass (or 2) of wine and whine about how we are away from H and A all day long. I hate every second that I am at work. I get up at 5 so I can get ready before she gets up, but then half the time I feed her and she goes right back to sleep. I never thought I would want to spend this much time with her.... but I do.

I'll have another one, please! said...

My sister (11 years ago) said the hardest thing she ever did was go back to work after having her son. The benefits of working & being able to save money for things that your little one will need in the future will mean more to you than a sweater or a new purse. When you watch him hit a ball and run as fast as his little legs will carry him to first base the hundreds of dollars spent on playing sports, the uniform, & all the accessories that accompany it won't matter & you'll be glad that you were able to provide that for him from savings you worked for. Focus on what you have and what you will have, it will get better!

Princess Freckles said...

I assume this is normal! You're going through a huge change and that is always hard! Hang in there! Maybe you could get a cleaning lady to come once a month to give you a little break?

Mom x 2 said...

MP, I'm thinking of you. I am sorry you're dealing with so much crap. I hope you're doing OK. I'm sure it's just normal post-baby stuff, but if you ever do feel seriously down, email me. I had PPD and I can tell you it's not fun and sometimes you need help pulling out of it. Hopefully in your case it's just adjusting to the difference in life circumstances. I'm here if you need a shoulder.

Kiki said...

The one thing I will comment on is your size, SO MANY women come in my store after having a baby and are so hard on themselves and I have to say I blame Hollywood for this crazy trend to get back to your pre baby size so quickly!!!

You will get there and need to give your self time, let yourself up....your H is so gorgeous!!!

The rest....I'm not qualified to comment on....but I am an excellent listener, if you need a shoulder mine is strong!!!

XO, Kik

5 Boys And Me said...

I promise the work thing gets better - it really does - and as for your size, remember it took 9 months to get that big, you can't expect to get back to normal immediately - 9 months there, 9 months back:) Lack of sleep is a huge contributing factor to feeling bad now too - at least it was for me!

Jane said...

Sorry you're feeling so bad. Hope it starts to get easier ...

Mossback Meadow said...

(((Hugs)))) I'm 8 weeks postpartum myself. What a beautiful baby boy you have.

It's a myth that women can do it all. Any way you can work from home?

My favorite mothering quote: The Heart has it's own reasons, which Reason does not know.

Mrs. Star Spangled Preppy said...

Don't be so hard on yourself. You have a BEAUTIFUL baby!

I'm visiting Chicago for the weekend. Can you recommend to me your favorite preppy boutiques in the city (besides the usual suspects...j-crew,etc.)?

Thanks!

Star Spangled Preppy

AEO said...

MP-
I'm so sorry you are feeling this way and are so miserable right now. I have seen a few friends of mine really struggle with going back to work, and while I can't (yet) imagine how hard it is, I do know that it can't be easy at all. Is it $800 per month or per paycheck that you are keeping? Per month might be managable enough to make being at SAHM work, but $1600/month is a lot and I can understand why you can't afford to stay at home (plus insurance costs, etc). I really don't know that I have any solutions for you, and I'm sure it's hard to see other blogging mommies who can stay home while you are at work (that would definitely be difficult for me). I just want you to know that I'll be praying for you and hoping that things get better! If you were in the city, I'd offer to be your exercise partner as I'd love one too!! Luckily the good weather is finally here, so get the stroller out and take some (quick) neighborhood walks with the hubby or your bestie to get your body back to a normal level. As a previous poster said, it'll take a while but it can be done! Please let me know if there is ANYTHING I can do to help!! I'm in Roscoe Village, so I can't be that far from you!

MBM said...

You are not a downer, everybody fels like this at some point after having a baby. When you are preggers you dream about how it's going to be & you read how celebs "breastfeed" and they are magically a size 0 - 2 weeks after delivery. Everything gets harder to do w/baby, emptying the dishwasher, cleaning the house, going to the grocery store, looking cute...BUUUT eventually, it all gets easier too. I promise. I had 2 babies back to back & they are a year apart. I have no idea how I did that! Now, they are 4 & 5. I barely remember a minute of it.
Have a fun summer..if it ever warms up for us in Chicago!!

The Mrs. said...

Oh man we are twins at this point. I fee your pain. Messy house, feeling huge WISHING I could fit in cute stuff or afford to buy it all (Thank God for Marshalls). I am about to go loco crazy. I know we'll get through it. I just hope there's enough wine to fix it!